Do Me a Favour...
Introduction
We’ve become so used to transactions and doing things for money that it’s been refreshing to see more and more people and even businesses returning to a ‘giving-first’ (or even just ‘giving’) mentality and philosophy. For everyone deserves basic human dignities like food, shelter, clothing, love, company, education and a way to be supported. And I’ve always believed that should be a ‘given’ regardless of whether a person ‘worked’ and ‘earned’ their human right in such specific monetary terms.
I grew up in England in the 1960s where daily people would ask each other for ‘a hand’ with some task or other, or ‘do me a favour, would you?’ Such a question was never an opportunity to reply with a price or hourly/job rate: it was your opportunity to help, do something to contribute to a bigger picture and get things done. We depended on that to oil the wheels of how our culture worked, knowing too that when we ourselves also ‘needed a favour’ there would naturally be a reciprocation.
So although we can see people ‘giving’ and ‘helping’ and ‘donating’ and paying-it-forward etc, I chose ‘Do me a Favour’ because it sums up for me a willingness and naturalness to act and make a difference for someone. And more: to be pro-active and actively look for opportunities to reclaim this pleasure and contribution. Even when in foreign lands and new places: we can be on the front foot and get involved!
We’ve become so used to transactions and doing things for money that it’s been refreshing to see more and more people and even businesses returning to a ‘giving-first’ (or even just ‘giving’) mentality and philosophy. For everyone deserves basic human dignities like food, shelter, clothing, love, company, education and a way to be supported. And I’ve always believed that should be a ‘given’ regardless of whether a person ‘worked’ and ‘earned’ their human right in such specific monetary terms.
I grew up in England in the 1960s where daily people would ask each other for ‘a hand’ with some task or other, or ‘do me a favour, would you?’ Such a question was never an opportunity to reply with a price or hourly/job rate: it was your opportunity to help, do something to contribute to a bigger picture and get things done. We depended on that to oil the wheels of how our culture worked, knowing too that when we ourselves also ‘needed a favour’ there would naturally be a reciprocation.
So although we can see people ‘giving’ and ‘helping’ and ‘donating’ and paying-it-forward etc, I chose ‘Do me a Favour’ because it sums up for me a willingness and naturalness to act and make a difference for someone. And more: to be pro-active and actively look for opportunities to reclaim this pleasure and contribution. Even when in foreign lands and new places: we can be on the front foot and get involved!
Examples
What do I charge?
Well, we’re so used to ‘paying’ a certain price or rate for goods and services, but when the very nature of ‘doing a favour’ is so hard to define, how could we put a ‘price-per-favour' on it? $20? $25? $50? How would we arrive at such prices? So I don’t ‘charge”. It’s a bit like the ‘Giving Economy’ but instead of “I gift you this/you gift me that” it’s more like “I do you a Favour”. You may do me a favour also, but that’s not the motivation of ‘my’ giving/favour. And if you do, that may be ‘money’ or it may not: perhaps something in direct return that I would value. It’s also a little like ‘Pay It Forward” as I’ll describe later on.
So what do I get out of it?
True, I ‘get’ practical things I need for daily life. But much more than that, I get amazing life-experiences, memories and friendships with people across all cultural, religious or economic boundaries. I get the satisfaction of being actively involved (often for only short moments) in life and other people’s lives, situations and work.
From the examples above, with my Belize friends, I may not ‘get anything’ directly, but I do get to live in and look after their beautiful home for a month while they’re away, surrounded by semi-jungle, peace, nature, monkeys, toucans and much more…
By doing good work and connecting respectfully and humbly with the Spanish school director, he passes me private, paying students and gives me space in his school to offer more classes.
With my Indigena friend and daughter, I get saturated with colour (and hugs!) every visit and get to spend time with people from another world in ways I cannot imagine I would otherwise get.
And as I help my friend and her relationship in Texas, I learn also about ways I can improve my own relationship and cross-cultural/inter-racial understandings.
Anything else?
Someone once coached me about how to get involved with anyone about anything: he said “Win-Win, or No-Play” and I like that. It means there must be benefit for all involved, or we don’t do it at all. I also believe in ‘Ripples’ that spread out from the deliberate (or accidental) thoughts, words and actions we each enact everyday. ‘Givers’ Gain’ is another popular phrase (used in some business networking forums). And of course we already mentioned ‘Pay it Forward’ in unique, appropriate and often spontaneous ways, from our sense of abundance, and which have no thought of reward or return.
Personally:
I have no home, no furniture, no car and just a few material possessions in my friends loft in northern NZ. I house-sit full-time, professionally (5 years in NZ and these last 5 in Central America). So how do I pay to even eat and travel? I work online, teaching English, creating a few modest free-to-make websites and image-content. And other more obvious ‘work/labour’ when that’s been necessary or possible from time to time. In the past I’d had to apply for work visas and permits, finding a place of work, commuting etc etc, but now with internet and technology why limit myself? I live in a new system, using my abilities, ideas, creations and experiences, not only to support myself, but especially where they are of value and use to other people. I'm self-confident in life and live by a portable ‘new’ income model where “What I Do” comes from within me and my great ability to connect people to people, to information, things, events and opportunities etc, as much as what I take advantage of from my outer world.
To Do Favours!
Other Examples
How else am I ‘paid’ for Doing Favours?
First we have to re-define ‘pay’ in a way that goes beyond ‘money’ (as shown above).
What else do I get to ‘give’?
I get to give/donate/support people directly, as real friends, beyond simply giving money to charity, for example the Guatemala weavers mentioned before. To a Tibetan refugee in Nepal I have directly sponsored for 17 years and met and kept in touch, and where I’m now proud to know he has a good, respected career in the community and is supporting his mother and family. Also countless others, perhaps as simple as giving an old man a ride to the nearby Belize hospital instead of him waiting 2 more hours at the roadside in the shelterless sun. Or inviting a street vendor in a poor neighbourhood to sit and enjoy a coffee with me while I wait for my next bus: take the weight off their feet for a moment: feel appreciated and human, instead of constantly touting for their next dollar.
More about the New Economy
As our Money/Work/Job/Salary/Consumer-driven Economy rapidly dies, and I wish for a more adventurous life beyond my supposedly secure 4 walls, rent-mortgage, traffic etc, I have to co-create and be a part of something new, not merely wait for it to happen!
But aren’t we all already doing this ‘giving and exchanging’? How are our daily interactions a Giving Economy or not, and how is it different? Why not just continue “I give you this, you give me or pay me that?
Definitions:
Kahlil Gibran: “The Prophet”
In this profound and trans-religious book, he speaks at one point about ‘Giving’ and says:
“It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving.
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall some day be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.
You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream”.
- Friends in Belize are selling their place and going to Panama to look for a new property. I connect them to another friend who lives in that area, has many contacts especially ex-pats and is happy to meet my Belize friends and show them around; help them get started.
- The director of a Spanish Language school in Guatemala needs help translating their website plus various documents into perfect English. I’m a native English-speaker with a teaching qualification, who speaks good enough Spanish and knows that part of the world.
- An Indigenous woman in Lago Atitlan, Guatemala spends her days making and trying to sell weavings and souvenirs to tourists, and thereby support her young daughter to get education and a start in life. I connect her to a friend in New Zealand who loves colourful ethnic goods, and buys frequent quantities which I co-ordinate and ship-on. I also help the young daughter once a week study the basics of Spanish reading and writing from a popular exercise book.
- One of my online English students in Central America has begun a romance/relationship with a man from Texas. My experience as a male, a Western male, a Western male who has inter-racial relationship experience (my Colombian girlfriend) and a Western male who also speaks Spanish and understands many cultural differences and how relationships work, gives her many insights to help them form a great life together, as well as giving us invaluable material to study in her English lessons.
What do I charge?
Well, we’re so used to ‘paying’ a certain price or rate for goods and services, but when the very nature of ‘doing a favour’ is so hard to define, how could we put a ‘price-per-favour' on it? $20? $25? $50? How would we arrive at such prices? So I don’t ‘charge”. It’s a bit like the ‘Giving Economy’ but instead of “I gift you this/you gift me that” it’s more like “I do you a Favour”. You may do me a favour also, but that’s not the motivation of ‘my’ giving/favour. And if you do, that may be ‘money’ or it may not: perhaps something in direct return that I would value. It’s also a little like ‘Pay It Forward” as I’ll describe later on.
So what do I get out of it?
True, I ‘get’ practical things I need for daily life. But much more than that, I get amazing life-experiences, memories and friendships with people across all cultural, religious or economic boundaries. I get the satisfaction of being actively involved (often for only short moments) in life and other people’s lives, situations and work.
From the examples above, with my Belize friends, I may not ‘get anything’ directly, but I do get to live in and look after their beautiful home for a month while they’re away, surrounded by semi-jungle, peace, nature, monkeys, toucans and much more…
By doing good work and connecting respectfully and humbly with the Spanish school director, he passes me private, paying students and gives me space in his school to offer more classes.
With my Indigena friend and daughter, I get saturated with colour (and hugs!) every visit and get to spend time with people from another world in ways I cannot imagine I would otherwise get.
And as I help my friend and her relationship in Texas, I learn also about ways I can improve my own relationship and cross-cultural/inter-racial understandings.
Anything else?
Someone once coached me about how to get involved with anyone about anything: he said “Win-Win, or No-Play” and I like that. It means there must be benefit for all involved, or we don’t do it at all. I also believe in ‘Ripples’ that spread out from the deliberate (or accidental) thoughts, words and actions we each enact everyday. ‘Givers’ Gain’ is another popular phrase (used in some business networking forums). And of course we already mentioned ‘Pay it Forward’ in unique, appropriate and often spontaneous ways, from our sense of abundance, and which have no thought of reward or return.
Personally:
I have no home, no furniture, no car and just a few material possessions in my friends loft in northern NZ. I house-sit full-time, professionally (5 years in NZ and these last 5 in Central America). So how do I pay to even eat and travel? I work online, teaching English, creating a few modest free-to-make websites and image-content. And other more obvious ‘work/labour’ when that’s been necessary or possible from time to time. In the past I’d had to apply for work visas and permits, finding a place of work, commuting etc etc, but now with internet and technology why limit myself? I live in a new system, using my abilities, ideas, creations and experiences, not only to support myself, but especially where they are of value and use to other people. I'm self-confident in life and live by a portable ‘new’ income model where “What I Do” comes from within me and my great ability to connect people to people, to information, things, events and opportunities etc, as much as what I take advantage of from my outer world.
To Do Favours!
Other Examples
- The same Belize people mentioned before, want to sell their home and land and relocate in Panama. I designed a simple website with lots of rich image-content and networked it to a select group of contacts I have (including real estate people in other and Central America countries). I have been offered a small percentage commission of the eventual sale price for my input.
- A friend who’d recently returned home to Australia was in the process of winding-up his business affairs in Panama City, and needed someone on the spot (as I was then); someone intelligent, capable, professional, Spanish-speaking and familiar with the city, to visit his accountant’s offices, go through his private files and communicate ‘live’ by SKYPE what to keep or discard, then finally organise to Fed-Ex a package back to him. Four days later I received confirmation the package had arrived safely and found $150 in my Paypal account.
- While living in a small rural-tourist town in Guatemala, I was asked to give English lessons to the local Tourist Police (guns and all!) to help them serve the tourists better. Before leaving the town after several months, I was escorted by 12 armed police from their station to a Taco restaurant where I was treated to a great meal and unforgettable company.
How else am I ‘paid’ for Doing Favours?
First we have to re-define ‘pay’ in a way that goes beyond ‘money’ (as shown above).
- As I said above it can be direct ‘money/pay’ (like with my Australian friend above) in US$s into my Paypal account or in NZ$s into my Kiwi account like from my friend who bought the Guatemala souvenirs which I paid to ship over to her.
- I get to live rent-free and utilities-free when I house-sit. Often too I get use of a car which gives me enormous freedom and opportunities to explore new parts of the world and make new contacts and gain new experiences etc which are automatically and seemlessly re-invested for future ‘Favour-Doing’.
- People have often directly bought things I make (eg a piece of art or photo image, a PDF of my published book etc) or services (website design, English lessons on SKYPE, document translation etc).
- People have bought me food, air tickets, items of clothing, even small technical goods (like a new latop computer in exchange for a long-term program of English tuition by a student in Guatemala city whose business sells, leases and repairs computers!).
- And just occasionally, some people have simply given me money, without me asking or obviously ‘doing them a favour’: simply because I’m going about things in this world in a way they like and wish to support by helping me do more J
What else do I get to ‘give’?
I get to give/donate/support people directly, as real friends, beyond simply giving money to charity, for example the Guatemala weavers mentioned before. To a Tibetan refugee in Nepal I have directly sponsored for 17 years and met and kept in touch, and where I’m now proud to know he has a good, respected career in the community and is supporting his mother and family. Also countless others, perhaps as simple as giving an old man a ride to the nearby Belize hospital instead of him waiting 2 more hours at the roadside in the shelterless sun. Or inviting a street vendor in a poor neighbourhood to sit and enjoy a coffee with me while I wait for my next bus: take the weight off their feet for a moment: feel appreciated and human, instead of constantly touting for their next dollar.
More about the New Economy
As our Money/Work/Job/Salary/Consumer-driven Economy rapidly dies, and I wish for a more adventurous life beyond my supposedly secure 4 walls, rent-mortgage, traffic etc, I have to co-create and be a part of something new, not merely wait for it to happen!
- I don’t have formal qualifications nor a university education
- I don’t have to work in any specific location or establishment (unless I choose to do so)
- I need no work permits and such complications (all are ‘favours’ and/or ‘online’ work)
- I have minimal interaction with banks and beaurocracy
- I pay no tax because what I ‘earn’ is not always ‘money’ nor fixed to having been done in a specific ‘taxable’ place or way (and anyway, any money-earnings are offest by expenses, being ‘self-employed’)
- Portable, Nomadic, Digital and Virtual are all words which define my integrated work/social/networking lifestyle.
- I get to be of value, of service: useful; sought-after (things which I did lots of psychotherapy to understand in the past!!)
- I grow as a human being, having many experiences but little ‘stress’ or feelings of being trapped etc
- I trust myself and others more and more as each new place and opportunity reinforces the growing evidence of how it does all hang-together!
- Sometimes the ‘Favour’ is directed at me to receive. Sometimes it finds me and is meant for another person, so I pass the ball and watch the smile as a new doorway or result happens for them. It’s not just about ‘enjoying giving’ but actually seeing the faces and what joy it brings to those who receive and get something of benefit. That satisfaction feels ‘real’: feels like ‘me’ (how I love to experience myself in this role); is natural and easy to do. Is ‘who I am’. Then, I get myself out of the way and look for the next one. And there is always ‘a next one’!
But aren’t we all already doing this ‘giving and exchanging’? How are our daily interactions a Giving Economy or not, and how is it different? Why not just continue “I give you this, you give me or pay me that?
- Yes, currently we offer/sell a good or service and receive a money ‘token’ of agreed value, which we then use to buy other goods and services from other people. And so the world continues to turn. But in this model I have to ‘get’ before I can ‘give’.
- In barter systems, I give you a sack of rice and you give me something directly (instead of independent currency) of agreed value, like a goat. At least that’s a different focus on necessity, not simply being motivated to accumulate ‘tokens’ to use later or value them in and of themselves.
- Gift Economy says I do this or that for you freely, of volition, so that you may receive, because I can and wish to do this for you. If you have something I also value and you freely choose to give back or offer me something, I then graciously receive. Same goes for receiving from another source outside of a direct exchange transaction between two parties. It can be more like a river or flow of water in a tube: as stuff goes out one end, its absence makes space for, and draws-in more stuff at the other end. So it’s almost identical.
- “Doing a Favour” however, to me has a more spontaneous and ground-level sense about it. An action. A gift may or may not be a necessity that helps get something done in itself, rather being a mark of generosity; a means of connection between people on the planet. I’d always known I had plenty to give, but more than that (and experiencing myself as generous), I wanted that this ‘something from me’ would be useful. Of course, like dropping a pebble in a pond (which I am very good at!) we can’t control the outcome nor come-back of our giving/favours. But it is so much more fulfilling to see people get a lift and/or advantage they can use and benefit from, because what I could ‘give’ was helpful and useful: “a Favour”.
Definitions:
- (a) favour (noun): an act of help or assistance
- (to) favour (verb): to give preference to someone or something
Kahlil Gibran: “The Prophet”
In this profound and trans-religious book, he speaks at one point about ‘Giving’ and says:
“It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving.
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall some day be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.
You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream”.